Overcrowded

My Life’s so overcrowded

There isn’t room for God

There isn’t room for anything

Just press on – plod, plod, plod

Never enough

Inadequate, Unworthy

I can never do enough

Unrighteous and Unlovely

No goodness and no love

Storms

Storms are coming

All around me

Bring me peace

Walk to me

Upon rough waters

Calm my fears

Cost

Not one

Not even one

I won’t see one

Be lost

I know you know

You know how much

How much that really

Cost

Wrong

I thought I knew

Who You were

I was wrong

I thought I knew

Who I was

I was wrong

You get a letter in the post

It says you’ve won a prize

It says you’ve won a million

But you don’t believe your eyes

You know that everybody else

Will have one just like yours

‘Cos the postman put the same stuff

Through all the other doors

You know that it’s a great big con

Because everyone can’t win

So you rip it into pieces

And you throw it in the bin

You get a letter to your heart

It says you’ve won a rpize

It says you are forgiven

But you can’t believe your eyes

You hear that everybody’s had

An offer just like yours

Because the One who sent the letter

Knocked on all the other doors

You think that it’s a great big con

Because everyone can’t win

So you rip Jesus into pieces

And you throw Him in the bin.

                       I seem to get involved

                        In petty things

                        The troubles and the sorrows

                        Each day brings

                        Why think about tomorrow ?

                        (It's your choice)

                        I like to take the pleasant road

                        The easy way

                        Not think about the future

                        Just today

                        Who cares about tomorrow?

                        (It's your choice)

                        And tomorrow never comes

                        That's what they say

                        Or does it come and change it's name

                        Into today?

                        Yes - What about tomorrow?

                        (It's your choice)

                        There are two roads to choose

                        I can't stand still

                        The choice is left to me

                        I have free will

                        Which way is my tomorrow?

                        (It's your choice)

                        One way involves great gain

                        But greater loss

                        The other lays my life

                        Beneath a cross

                        Where will I be tomorrow?

                        (It's your choice)

                        And deep inside I hear

                        A quiet voice

                        That tells me " Not to choose

                        Is still a choice"

                        So - What about tomorrow?

                        (It's your choice)

                        Now I must choose the way

                        My path will lie

                        To choose the right way is to live

                        The wrong to die

                        What shall I do about tomorrow

                        (It's your choice - CHOOSE LIFE)

          It is a heavy weight to bear

          To know that I have killed my God

          I helped to hammer in the nails

          And helped to spill His precious blood

          I sometimes cannot bear the pain

          Of standing there beneath the cross

          Of knowing that my way of life

          Has brought about God's greatest loss

          It shatters me to know He died

          Both for me and because of me

          To know He willingly faced death

          Because of love - to set me free

          I know He rose - I know He lives !

          I glory in His victory!

          But still, it cuts me to the quick

          To know He died - because of me

I weep for the lost

Often, so often

It makes me unbearably sad

To think of anyone being lost

Separated from God

Out in the dark - away from the light

For ever

I know I am not lost

Not any more, and I thank God for that

But it almost makes it worse, somehow

I want everyone to know

To know what I know

To have what I have

To feel what I feel

Why should I be so privileged

Why should I have this gift

This precious gift

When others haven't even got a clue

Even though they should have seen the signs

Seen that it's there for the taking

There for anyone who wants it

There for everyone who needs it

But there are so many people

So many lost and lonely people

Who just don't know, just don't understand

Don't think it's important

Don't think that they need God

Don't even believe He's real

Or even if He is, He's far away

Not remotely concerned with them

Or they with Him

And it's so awful to think that for some people

It will all be just too late

By the time they find out the truth

Find out that it does matter

Find out that they did need Him after all

They will find Him only to lose Him

For ever

Devastating, isn't it?

That's why I weep so much

For all the lost ones

All the ones who have been lost

And all those who will be lost in time to come

Mostly, the weight is too much for me to bear

(One would think the Cross would have broken -

under such a weight)

I try to pray, sometimes, for all the lost

But there are so many - so many

It overwhelms me - makes me weep

For all the lost - the lost

                        Pull yourself together

                        That's what you say

                        If not in those exact words

                        It's what you imply

                        "We've been through it -

                        Just the same as you"

                        "It's just another stage in your life"

                        How do you know?

                        You don't know me

                        How I feel - how I am inside

                        Only God and I know that

                        (And most of the time I'm not sure)

                        "But you've had all the teaching"

                        So you say

                        "You should know what to do -

                        Do it now - you're wasting time"

                        "Why don't you let God deal with it?"

                        Why can't you see that He is !

                        But in His way and my way

                        Not yours!

                        And in His time and my time

                        Not yours!

                        Oh, He could do it now

                        Instantly

                        Of course He could

                        But He won't

                        He knows  better than you

                        He knows me better than you do

                        (He knows me better than I do!)

                        He knows it would be too much

                        That the pain would destroy me

                        He knows that this thing

                        This awful, nameless thing

                        That festers and gnaws at my soul

                        Has to be removed slowly

                        Carefully, compassionately

                        Layer by layer by layer

                        Each layer dirtier

                        Each layer uglier

                        Each layer more painful to remove

                        (How I dread the last one)

                        Until even the roots and dregs are gone

                        (This time - this time they'll be gone for ever)

                        Pull myself together?

                        No - can't you see

                        I need to rip myself apart

                        Inch by painful inch

                        Because only then can I be free

                        And strong

                        And whole

I cannot share

My inner self

With anyone

Not in the spoken word

Only sometimes

On paper

I cannot talk

To anyone

About my deepest thoughts

Only to God

Can I reveal my soul

And even then

I put up barriers

Try to shut Him out

To hide myself

Like an ostrich in the sand

I know I can't hide from Him

No-one can

He sees right through

The fences and the sand

Right through to me

Inside

How can He love me

Seeing what's hidden inside

Only because He doesn't see that

But only Christ

Who is living within

Sometimes I feel lost

Buried in my troubles

Submerged by worries

Drowning in the World

Falling,   sinking

Frightened

But then He comes

And gently pulls

On the elastic rope

Of love

That binds me to Him

Pulls me up

Out of the depths

Into light and air

And His love

Back beside Him

Where I belong

Deep in my soul I have no concept of time

Or of living - only of being

I have no concept of dying

Only of continuing to be

My spirit will not always be chained

Will not always be fettered by time

As my body is

One day it will be free

Free to fly - to soar above the world

One day - One day I will be free of time

Still your busy minds

Shut out the world's loud noise

Listen with an open heart

And you will hear His voice

He won't force you to come to Him

He doesn't shout or push and shove

He speaks with quietness and calm

Assuring you of His endless love