Always Amazing!

You get a letter in the post

It says you’ve won a prize

It says you’ve won a million

But you don’t believe your eyes

You know that everybody else

Has a letter just like yours

Because the postman puts this rubbish

Through all the other doors

You know that it’s a great big con

Because everyone can’t win

So you rip it into pieces

And you throw it in the bin

You get a letter to your heart

It says you’ve won a prize

It says you’ve been forgiven

But you don’t believe your eyes

You hear that everybody else has had

A letter just like yours

Because the One who sent the letter

Has knocked on all the other doors

You think that it’s a great big con

Because everyone can’t win

So you rip Jesus into pieces

And you throw Him in the bin

I’m not afraid of anything

Don’t know what it is to fear

I’ve never cried, I don’t know how

I’ve never shed one tear

So the emotion and the love here

It doesn’t touch my soul

Light’s streaming all around me

But inside it’s black as coal

The love just breaks right over me

Like waves upon a rock

And something here inside of me

Just wants to laugh and mock

Why do I need God anyway?

Why don’t you tell me that?

I won’t submit to anyone

Won’t let power knock me flat!

I’ve never needed anyone

I’ve always been alone

Why would I want to change that now?

It’s all I’ve ever known

I’ve always been enough for me

It’s always worked before

So why is my heart hammering

Like someone knocking on a door?

Waves crash hard against the rock now

As I struggle to break free

I hear someone softly weeping

And I realise that it’s me.

You answer all my prayers, Lord

You show me the right way

To deal with all my problems

And to get through every day

But then I take the wrong path

Close my ears and turn my eyes

And everything goes wrong, Lord

And I know I wasn't wise

But you never, never say "I told you so"

You shower me with gifts, Lord

And I throw them all away

Then I ask you for some more

(When I can find the time to pray)

And when my life goes wrong again

Because of what I've done

And it seems once more I've lost it all

You tell me that I've won

And you never, never say "I told you so"

How can You keep forgiving, Lord

How could You send Your only Son

To die for me upon the cross

After all I've said and done

It must be because You love me , Lord

And You know that  when I roam

I'll always come straight back to You

Because where You are is home

That's why You never, never say "I told you so"

Oh no You don't

No, You never, never say "I told you so"

I never used to like my name(sorry Mum!) - I always thought it too plain and short and never thought it suited me.  I found out what it meant one day and became even more convinced that it wasn't for me.  You see my name , Ann, comes from the Hebrew and means gracious and was interpreted, in the version of name meanings I read, as graceful.  HA HA !  The one thing I have never been is graceful in any way - and coupled with my maiden name of Smart it always struck me as very inappropriate.  I have to say that I have been known to look smart but only on very rare occasions.  If you have ever seen the Thelwell cartoon of a very tidy person about to groom a very scruffy pony - followed by a very tidy pony and a very scruffy person, that's exactly what always happens to me.  It has long been a family joke that if I do any decorating there is always more paint on me than on the walls !  So, there you are - I never used to like my name and never thought it even remotely suited me.

Another thing that struck me a being inappropriate was the day of my birth - you will probably have heard the old rhyme about birthdays that begins "Monday's child is fair of face, Tuesday's child is full of grace ...."  There are absolutely no prizes for guessing which day of the week I was born on !  Coincidence perhaps - or a mother who knew the rhyme or the meaning of my name?  Not so - I was named after an Aunt.  So, there it is - both the significance of the day of my birth and the meaning of my name seemed to point to the exact opposite of what I really am.

You will, perhaps, have noticed the past tense - never used to like my name etc - so what has changed my mind ?  I don't actually think it's a case of what - more like Who!  You see, I had never looked at grace properly before - I had never really looked at it as God's grace, never investigated it's true meaning.  I always thought of being graceful as the opposite of being clumsy - which in a way it is but one day I looked in the dictionary specially and found it had other meanings.  It also means "God's loving mercy towards mankind"  "Unmerited favour" and one of the meanings of gracious  is "Showing divine grace - merciful".  How can I even begin to object to a name with all those meanings?  How can a name like that ever be seen as plain and boring?  And how can I continue to object to my name when I myself have been a recipient of God's grace?

The difficult job, of course, is living up to the name - especially the part about showing divine grace and being merciful although, to be honest, I have never had much trouble with the last bit of that.  I have always found it fairly easy to forgive other people (admittedly I still have trouble forgiving myself!)  So I expect in some small way my name does fit - even though it doesn't fit anywhere near as well as it was intended to - not yet, anyway!

Some years ago I was told of a way to remember what grace really means and it was the following:-

God's    Riches    At    Christ's    Expense

Bearing that in mind, and bearing in mind all the grace that God has shown towards me during my life (none of it deserved) perhaps it's high time this Tuesday's child started to live up to her name and remember that it is a gift we have all been given and all we have to do is accept it.  We can all be full of God's riches at Christ's expense -  how can anyone ignore such a gift, especially one which cost so much.