Animal Antics!

Where did you come from?

You funny Little Cat

You’re a mixture and a muddle

A little bit of this and that

If only you’d been born a boy

Joseph would be your name

With your coat of many colours

(No two bits are quite the same!)

And when you’re feeling happy

Oh the noises that you make

It sounds like you have swallowed

A machine gun by mistake!

They say your mum’s a Siamese

They’re very sure of that

But I’m afraid to say your Father

Was a strange and wild tom cat

But who would want a pedigree

With a ball of fun like you

You’re our very own sweet Sadie

And we love you – yes we do!

You used to be our only cat

For ten whole years alone

But now a scrap of this and that

Has come to share your home

You couldn’t quite believe your eyes

When you found her on the chair

And you got another big surprise

Later, when she was still there

Perhaps you thought she was a stray

Who had come in by mistake

So you hope she would have gone away

I know you found it hard to take

I’m afraid you’re getting old now Tuss

And you can’t see very well at all

So please try not to make a fuss

When you come across her in the hall

We need a cat to catch the mice

That we can hear behind the wall

If you could hunt it would be nice

But your bad eyes are your downfall

And anyway, there’s room for two

Both in our hearts and in our home

So don’t think she’s replacing you

Oh please don’t spit and growl and moan

We love you just as much, you know

As much as we have ever done

And if, sometimes that doesn’t show

Well, somehow kittens are more fun

Can’t you remember how you liked

To run and jump and leap and play

Maybe your claws won’t be so spiked

If you remember yesterday

Well, it seems that you remembered

What it was like to run and play

I saw you in the garden

With the kitten, yesterday

You ran and chased and jumped about

You really had some fun

I think that it could mean

A brand new friendship has begun

She doesn’t always understand

You sometimes just don’t want to play

She leaps on you when you’re asleep

But it won’t always be that way

Oh yes, sometimes she is a pain

(She bites us too you know!)

But that is just because she’s young

And someday soon she’ll grow

But I really think you’re glad she’s here

It’s so much better than being alone

And yes, she has done you some good

See how much younger you have grown

And when I see you share your food

It makes all the fuss worthwhile

Then you curl up together and sleep on the chair

And I look at you both – and smile

So now you’ve gone

Your life has reached the end

From two cats back to one

And we have lost a friend

You had been with us always

(Or so it seemed to us)

The cat who didn’t often play

Or want us to make a fuss

You were just always there somehow

On a chair or in the sun

(Not like the one who’s with us now

Look at me! Aren’t I FUN!)

No, you were just a part of home

Taken for granted but loved too

And now your time with us is gone

We know that we will all miss you

Of course we love our young upstart

Life goes on – it always will

But there’s a corner in our hearts

That only you can ever fill

So goodbye, old friend, remember when

I told you there was room for two?

That’s as true now as it was then

No cat could take the place of you

One hundred hungry Labradors

Have come to haunt my dreams

(I know there’s not that many

But that’s just the way it seems!)

Soon as they hear the “Annie Hopper”

Come roaring (?) up the drive

They know it’s nearly feed-time

Then they’re glad to be alive

I can hear dogs whine impatiently

As I stir and mix and pour

And that funny short-legged Echo

Is scratching madly at the door

That Patch, though, doesn’t say a lot

He just sort of – looks

He knows he’ll get the leftovers

Of anything Tess cooks

But it’s just like “Grandma’s Footsteps”

Because when I turn around

They’re all sitting looking innocent

And not making a sound!

Notes: This is from when I worked as a kennel maid many years ago - when I first went there I thought I'd never be able to tell them all apart (mostly Labs with the odd spaniel thrown in) but I did! And the Annie Hopper? It's what my boss used to call the ancient (and not very reliable) moped I used to get me to work.